2009 Year End Retrospective

I do not want to see 2009 end. It has been one of the greatest, if not the greatest, of my 62+ years on Mother Earth. I can't envision 2010 being as good or better. While there have been a few low spots during the year, and other years have had bigger high points, overall the year 2009 was the best ever. I will highlight a few things that made it so.


January. I went back to work. Short lived , however, as I got terribly ill while working in Park City. I think all of the "Beautiful People" I was transporting were carrying some really ugly germs.
I think my immune system was a little weak because of the surgery I had undergone in October,2008. By this time I had dropped about 60lbs.

February. Still feeling the effects of three infections. Had to terminate work. The medicine I was taking said I was not to operate machinery while ingesting the drugs. I wasn't sure but I think a 45' bus constituted some type of machinery. I also decided to stop running the vacuum at home. I did, however, continue to operate the microwave oven. I went to the fatso Dr. and by the middle of February, I was down 89lbs from my surgery date. I was taken off one of my blood pressure medications. I was starting to feel real good.


March. A great month. I have dropped to below 300lbs. I still throw up if I eat the wrong things, or eat too fast, or don't chew everything to the consistency of yogurt, but I am feeling well. Highlight of the month was a family trip to Disneyland. We had a blast. I rode all the rides, did not obsess about food, walked all over Disneyland about 37 times and could have done more. I even went swimming. For the first time in decades, I was being eye-balled by some of the fairer sex. The fact that these women had obviously been on social security for many years and most likely had cataracts, did nothing to dampen my temporary euphoria.


April. Still losing weight. Feeling better all the time. For the first time in about 7 or 8 years, I am mowing my lawn. The previous years, I was unable to complete this task on a timely basis. I hired it out or Rhonda did it. Keep in mind, I really like to mow and do yard work. When I
started mowing again, I enjoyed it so much, I mowed it 2 and sometimes 3 times a week for the entire summer.


May. Still losing weight. Still feeling better. Enjoying simple tasks that use to be almost impossible. I feel better than I have for many, many years.


June. Follow-up with fatso Dr. Officially am down 136lbs. Weight 6/9/2009 is 266lbs. That's down around 140lbs. Still throw up on occasion. I'm glad of that.


July. I had my annual physical with my primary care physician. He said he was "thrilled" with my results. My blood work was very good. All the other poking and prodding went well. Two of the nurses in the office made a point of telling me how good I looked. (No, they were not male nurses). Another highlight of the month was a trip to Las Vegas. I spent the better part of two days in the swimming pool. I spent no time at the buffet line. I felt like a kid again at Lava Hot Springs. It was wonderful. It should also be noted that again I was being eyed, but not suspiciously, by some of the female swimmers. This time, however, they were not members of the cataract club. They appeared, for the most part, to have their own teeth. I saw no walkers parked at poolside. None of them were tethered to a portable oxygen tank. Other that some ill-placed sags and stretch marks on these middle-age tarts, it was quite flattering . It was a great month.


August. Highlight of the month was motoring to Yellowstone on August 25th. When I arrived at Park Headquarters, I ponied up the requisite $10.00 for a lifetime pass to all National Parks, Monuments, Historic Places and other such places. Rewards start coming you way at age 62. Also, if you fake a good limp, sometimes nice people will let you ahead of them in line at a buffet.

Sept. Still losing, but at a slower pace. Still feel great. Still mowing my lawn at least two times per week. Also mowing my Mom's lawn. I'm such a good son.


October. Big month. Annie and Dan hauled Rhonda and yours truly to France and Italy with them for 15 days. It's a good thing I re-introduced myself to walking over the summer otherwise I would have never made it. A couple of times I felt like I was at a try out for the Bataan Death March. I've been in enough churches to last me through the eternities. I eaten enough mystery food to last me for a long, long time. I've crowded into enough subway's with hygienically challenged people to last forever. But it was a great trip. It made me appreciate home even more. One of the highlights of the trip was meeting Sister Angela, a Catholic Nun, who Annie met while on her mission. What a wonderful woman. She lives in a convent in Florence, Italy. I lost another 2lbs while traipsing all over Italy. Italian women are very attractive. Too bad they don't spend a little less on mascara and a little more on deodorant.

November. It was another memorable month. We went to California at thanksgiving to spend time with my uncle and aunt and cousins. What a great time. No, I did not pig out. I tasted a few thing I have not eaten for some time but I still lost weight during the trip. It is great to have family members who we are so close to. On my way home, I was alone. Rhonda had to be back to work the day after Thanksgiving, so she got on a plane and flew home. I was left to drive across the wilds of Nevada by myself. Speaking of wilds in Nevada, I think I observed the wildest thing in Nevada at a coffee shop in Fallon. Her name tag read "Angel". I think that was wishful thinking on her parents part. This waitress was way too attentive. She kept asking if I needed anything else while imparting a double eye brow lift at the same time. She is the one that actually needed something.. I think about 10 botox injections around her mouth would do the trick. I left in a hurry. I left lots of food on the plate.


Dec. For the second year in a row, I loved Christmas. We had a great time with family, friends and generally having the Christmas spirit. We got a new snow blower and a new front storm door for Christmas. The real present Rhonda got is that she has not cooked a meal in 15 months. I'm still doing my own cooking. We also let Red Lobster cook for us. My total weight loss is now around 190lbs. I'm still losing but very slowly. Another 2 years and I will have a better idea of my long term success potential. I have a new wardrobe(mostly from the DI). I have a new outlook on life. I have a great family, especially Rhonda, and I have much to look forward to. That's it for now. I have to go now and compile a list of the sisters in Church who have been looking my way the last few months. As I believe there will be polygamy in the hereafter, I feel it's not too soon to compile a list of candidates.

October First

Today is a day that has some deep significance in my life. October 1st is a day that I remember for more than one reason.

October 1, 1896. This is my Dad's birthday. If he were alive today, that would make him 113 years old.He died of a stroke on March 16, 1958. He was only 61 years old when he died. I was ten. I have always felt a profound sense of loss for not having him longer. My Father was a well-respected businessman, a great Father, neighbor and friend. In the fifty plus years since his death, numerous times I have had people tell me they knew my Dad and what a great man he was. I sometime feel cheated that I didn't have him here longer to mentor, guide, and love me. It was a different time in 1958. We were not allowed to talk about his death. We were discouraged from showing any emotion about his passing. His death caused a split in the family, one that was not mended, at least partially, for over forty years. I don't know for sure but I attribute at least some of my weaknesses to the fact he was not there.

Although I was always one of the tallest kids at school, after he died I really started to struggle with my weight. Food became a very important part of my life. I ate too much, but while I was younger, I was active enough that I was only marginally to perhaps moderately overweight through my school years. After I got married that seemed to change. The weight piled on. In 1975 just after Lizzie was born, I joined Weight Watchers. I weighed in at 293lbs. I was embarrassed beyond recall. In the space of about 9 months, I lost 100 lbs. I kept it off for about 2 years but then the old habits returned and I started gaining again. By the early 80's, I was over 300lbs. I went to the Diet Center. again I lost over 100 lbs. Again the weight started back. A couple of years later I tried a medically supervised fast. Again I lost over 100lbs. But each time I lost, the weight came back faster than before and usually about a 20% increase. Phen-fen came and went. I lost about 80 lbs. that time and re-gained about 100lbs in the twinkling of an eye. I stayed at around 370 lbs for a few years. I had always wondered if there was a maximum weight for me. A level beyond which I would not go. When hanging around the 370-375lb. level for a few years I thought I had found the answer. Then about 3 years ago, I decided I wanted to go to Alaska and work in the summer. This would necessitate losing some weight, so I went back to weight watchers. In the space of about 5months I dropped about 60 lbs and felt pretty good. I left for Alaska but returned withing a few weeks because of several concerns, not the least of which was my physical condition and the ability to do my job. I came home and although I tried to watch what I was eating, The weight began to return. I worked in Park City for the Winter and wanted to return to Alaska and try again. I did return to Alaska and again lasted only a few weeks.. This time, however, the reason I came home was mainly I was scared that I couldn't do the job because of my obesity that in turn leads to terrible insecurity and in my case wanting to be a full-time recluse. It is quite difficult being a tour-guide and a recluse at the same time. Lots of factors come into play when it comes to obesity. My fathers death when I was only 10 years old was not the sole cause of my weight problems, but I am sure it had some effect in this area. I still think of food when I am tired, lonely, bored, upset, discouraged, etc. I think for over 50 years, food was one of my best friends.

FAST FORWARD October 01, 2008

Another important October 1st.

7 A.M. I enter LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City , Utah. In just under 2 hours I will under go elective surgery.I officially weigh 402 lbs. I was as High as 412.5 lbs about 10 days earlier but dropped about 10 lbs before surgery at the surgeon's request. It makes it easier for the Dr. to work around the liver. I am having an RNY. It is Gastric By-pass surgery. They will take my stomach which is now about the size of Rhode Island and cut it to the size no larger than a golf ball. The opening from my esophagus to the new stomach will be the size of a dime. I will have seven incisions in my heretofore unscathed(except where Rhonda has scratched me in fits of passion over the many years) chest. There should have been only six incisions but they found my gall bladder diseased so they took it out for free. I was in surgery for about one hour. I went to the recovery room for a couple of hours. When I started coming out of the anesthesia, I thought someone in there was suffering from terminal turrets syndrome, but then I realized it was my voice. I'm glad Rhonda and the Bishop were not in there. They then took me to my room. I would spend the night in the hospital. That was a first for me. I had never been hospitalized before in my life. The next day I went home. Rhonda took me home and I sure she was wondering just as I was, what had I gotten myself into. Please bear in mind this was not a spur of the moment decision. I had be researching, studying, and learning as much as I could about weight loss surgery for about 4 or 5 years. It was not a decision that was easy to come by.. People have had bad complications from this surgery. People have died from it. Your life changes forever because of it. That being said, let me give you an Update:

October 1, 2009. My one year surgiversary. I have lost approximately 170 lbs. My shirt size has gone from a 5xl to a XL. My pants size has gone form 56w to 42w. My shoe has gone from 12 1/2 to 11. I am now able to wear my Dad's wedding ring from his first marriage. I am still losing weight although at a much slower rate. I'm now losing 1/2 to 1lb. per week in contrast to last winter when I was dropping 5-7 lbs per week. I would like to continue losing about another 30 lbs.

Am I cured of my food addiction? Absolutely not. But this is the best tool I have ever had to help me. If I eat too much, I throw up. I threw up about 50 times the first 6 months. If I do not chew enough, I throw up. If I eat the wrong things, I throw up. The throwing up has diminished greatly the last few months although I still hurl when I see a picture of Barbara Streisand or have to listen to Neil Diamond singing Christmas songs.

I still have mental and physical issues with food. I struggle at night time. I miss ice cream, cake, pasta and other things. My diet now is supposed to be about 70% protein and 30% vegetables. I need to stay away carbs and refined sugar. No more soft drinks. EVER. Fruit is something to be avoided. Per Doctor's orders, I have incorporated a little bit of some of these less than desirable foods back into my diet, but I have to be very careful. My treat for the week is at Sacrament Meeting. When looking over the bread tray, I will try to go for the biggest piece or see if it looks like two or more pieces are stuck together. I don't care if it is white, whole wheat, stale or fresh, it is one of the highlights of the week, not just from a religious standpoint.
I eat lots of fish now. I love it. I generally don't like steak or chicken, although I will try some about once a month. Hamburger is OK. I'm tired of cheese and eggs although I tolerate them well. I also do very well with pork cracklings. (Pig skin and pig fat). Also I eat a small portion of Wendy's Chili several times a week. I am learning the concept of eating to live, not living to eat.

My sleep apnea is gone, my blood pressure which ranged generally around 155/90 while taking two medications for it now averages 105/65 just by taking one very low dose medication. My back no longer bothers me. I don't get Charley horses in my legs and feet anymore. My edema is 90% gone. Routines and habits of a personal nature are better than they have been in 20 plus years. Mentally, I have not been this well for years and years and years. I do not dread most social occasions, I enjoy going into stores. I have to go to the grocery every week,because I do all my own cooking. Rhonda has not cooked for me in 365 days. As a family, we all went to Disneyland several months ago. I could not even dreamed of it a year ago. I rode all the rides. I kept up with everyone and I did not suffer from fixating over food. If I die tomorrow, the last six months have been worth it. My family has been very supportive in this endeavor and other than my immediate family, my Stake President ,and Katie's Mom and Pop-in-law, I told no one I was having this procedure done. I had done my homework and I didn't want to hear all the reasons from people who would try to talk me out of it. Is bariartric surgery for everybody? I doubt it. It takes a major commitment to change. It is a decision not to be made lightly or with undue pressure from well-meaning but ill-informed friends and relatives.

October 1, 2009

Another important October 1st. Rhonda, Annie, Dan and I are leaving today for France and Italy today. Again, something that was unthinkable just a year ago is very much a reality now. I do not need a seat belt extender. I have ordered a special meal(seafood) for the flight. I do not have to be concerned about extending my oversize girth out of my seating area into another passenger. I was worried once when I flew on Southwest that I would be designated as a COS(airline jargon for customer or size..I.E. too large for one seat)and be charged for a second seat. (this is Southwest's policy). I will fit nicely now. I am really excited to go. Life is good.

Where will the next years take me? I'm not sure. I'm still VERY worried about regaining weight. I still struggle with the mental addiction to food. I still think some about what I'm not eating and sometimes feel sorry for myself. But things are good right now and I believe I can handle it on a day to day basis.

I've included some pictures of myself. Some were taken on 9/29/08 and some on 9/29/09. I'll let you take a look at them and see if you can decide which were taken on which dates.


P.S. I hated that suit even when it was new. It is a size 60.

P.P.S. I couldn't have done this without Rhonda.

summer prettier than others.

Well it is almost Autumn. My favorite time of year. Listed below are the reasons I like and the reasons I dislike Autumn.

REASONS TO LIKE AUTUM.

1. Cooler temps.
2. Lower utility bills.
3. More people wearing more clothes. Suffice to say that this last summer has had far too many people not wearing enough clothing. Too many tattoo's, piercings, bare skin(usually packed with an excess of cellulite stretch marks and needle tracks). Cooler temps will hopefully force many to start covering up more exposed flesh.
4. Start of the Hockey Season.
5. World Series.
6. Quieter in the hood. Most of the noisy kids are back in school. I day a week at
church is enough noise for the week.
7. This autumn is special due to fact I will start getting some well deserved money from
Uncle Sam. Please all of you younger folks keep working hard as I don't want to worry
about my next check being on time or fully funded.
8. My flowers. Check out the pictures.
9. My family.


REASONS TO DISLIKE AUTUMN

1. Start of the NBA season.
2. First frost.
3. Start of the NBA season.
4. Start of figure skating season.
5. Start of gymnastics season.
6. Start of the NBA season.
7. Dead flowers.
8. Start of the NBA season.
9. Less daylight( this equals more time in front of the TV trying to avoid NBA highlights,
stories, and games.

Thank you Mike

This is my 2 1/2 year old grandson, Matthew. Yesterday he came to my house with his mother and sisters and a neighbor lady. Katie and her neighbor came to pick apricots. As Matthew was coming in the house I said to him "Are you here to play or work"? he replied "I'm here to play." I told him I thought that he should work. He said "No Grandpa, I have a Daddy." This sounds more like something a female would say. Then my 8 year old granddaughter,Erin, informed me that her nearly 103 year old Great- Grandmother had passed away on Saturday. Erin then said "I think she was the oldest person on earth. I guess it seems that way when you are eight.

Biker Chick Comes Out Of Releif Scoiety Closet

Some of you might have seen the movie "The Three Faces of Eve" staring Joanne Woodward. It is a circa 1957 film about an otherwise normal woman who actually has three separate and distinct personalities. They will now be considering a sequel to this film entitled "The Two Faces of Rhonda". It came to light yesterday as Rhonda and I were toiling in the yard. Rhonda's brother, Marty, who is 50 something, and is obviously suffering from mid-life crisis, came roaring up Lincoln Street on his newly acquired toy. It is the much sought-after BMW age reducer 2009. If you drive one of these two wheel death traps and affix the mandatory faux gold chain around your neck and leave the top three buttons open your shirt so as to expose both chest hairs, it will peel the years away. My mid-life crisis happened many years ago. My solution was not nearly as costly or dangerous. It only cost $15.00. that was my co-pay for my annual physical. After the extensive list of old-age things wrong with me, I realized that I should not worry about mid-life crisis, but should focus more on geratric issues.
Well, biker boy Marty told Rhonda to hop on and go for a ride with him. I about fell over when she did with very little coaxing on Marty's part. This is the same woman who will not ride a normal 10-speed bicycle because it doesn't have foot brakes. She didn't even care that she didn't have a helmet to wear. Off they headed down the street like a scene from the movie "Hot Biker Chicks". I never actually saw this movie myself, but Rhonda's sister Vickie told me all about it. They returned about 1/2 hour later. Rhonda was almost euphoric. She acted like she had seen a nude picture of Bill O'reilly. It was something to behold.
Just when I thought the old Rhonda had departed for a new personality, I heard her ask Marty if anyone ever stiched doilies on the seats for added comfort. Then she wondered how she could carry food order forms while driving to enrichment night. She asked if CTR could be painted on a helmet.
I hope Rhonda does not develope a third personality. After 40 years, I'm still trying to figure out the first one. Now there appears to be a long- hidden second one. As I travel into my declining years, I don't think I can handle anymore suprises.

Interesting comments

I usually try to call my grandchildren everyday. Today I called Katie's house. Eight year old Erin answered the phone. After a few insightful remarks from me, Erin said "Grandpa, you're delusional." I think I liked her better in the pre-existence.

39 Years of Bliss = 39 Legs of Crab

Last Friday, 3/20/2009, Rhonda and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary. We went to Joe's Crab Shack and did in several bucket loads of crab plus numerous side dishes. The above picture of Rhonda shows just how serious she is about eating crab. We did not reflect too much on our 39 years together, as we were too busy eating. Also, I had to ask them to turn down the music due to the fact we couldn't hear each other. Sitting on the same side is not an option. We stopped doing that on 3/21/1970. We were out of there by 6p.m. and on our way to a wedding reception. The son of a couple in our ward got married and he decided that he wanted to emulate a successful marriage so he chose our anniversary date. I would expect that he and his bride will be at Joe's Crab Shack on 3/20/2048 at around 4:30p.m. We passed on the cheesecake and avoided a couple that we didn't want to talk to and headed home because Rhonda told me she wanted to be alone. Rhonda went in the back bedroom and watched Bill O'Reily. I stayed in the living room and watched the Andy Griffith Show. We were alone. All in all it was a pretty exciting evening. Rhonda stayed up until at least 9p.m. This is about 1 1/2 hours later that normal for her. I managed to stay awake until about 9;30 pm. I can't wait till #40. I included the picture of myself so that you could see that I did not require a bib.

Gourmet Dining and Interesting Conversations

About 10 days ago, we were in Hollywood and we decided that we wanted to check out Pink's Hot Dog Stand. This establishment has been featured on the Travel Chanel as one of the top 10 hot dog eateries in the nation. When Rhonda and I arrived, the line was out the door, up the street and around the corner into the parking lot. We took our place among the throngs and patiently waited our turn. Our turn took 1hr and 10 minutes and cost around $12.00
for both of us. Rhonda had a Kraut dog and I opted for the slaw dog. We looked for movie stars. We saw none. In fact, it was pretty hard to find any normal looking people. Between the excess of tattoo's, piercings, and uncovered skin that should have been covered, it was pretty hard to spot anyone that you might want to have date your son or daughter. In fact ,it was hard to find anyone that you might feel comfortable making eye contact with. It felt like a combination of Trick or Treat, Ringling Brothers, and the Liberty Park Drum Circle.
While standing in line, a blind man passed with his wife. He had the obligatory 8' long white cane in front of him in his left hand. His right had rested upon his companions shoulder.(I believe it was his wife, as they were both wearing wedding rings). In passing, I heard her say to him,"Honey, it's getting dark". I really wonder if this was information that he really needed or cared about. In the morning I wonder if she says "Honey it's getting light out. Time to get up"?

Post Festivus Happenings or How I Cheated Death

I realize it has been several weeks since my last post and I apologize to my legions of readers who expect more from me. It has not been my fault. Due to the fact I am approaching my declining years, I seem to be more susceptible to illness and it seems to linger longer. After a great Festivus, I was ready and waiting for a great new year. I had even gotten to the point of securing a new job and I was continuing making Rhonda's life better by cleaning the house for her and never expecting her to prepare ANY meals. I also care for her cat, take her telephone messages, occasionally drive her to the grocery store and generally try to anticipate her every whim. About the 1st week in January, I got sicker than I have ever been in my life. High temp, coughing up watermelon-sized phlegm balls, loss of all energy, eyes sticking shut with what appeared to be extra thick green mascara , intestinal malaise usually only associated with folks in 3rd world countries or cheap motels, and other things too numerous to mention. I have felt terrible on and off for about 5 weeks. It got so bad, I put Goff Mortuary on my speed dial. In retrospect, I think The Lord was telling me not to work and to not do Housework. I try to listen to the promptings and so I am leaving the vacuum alone and not rushing back to work. I am, however, still striving to make Rhonda's life better. After going to 3 different doctors, the diagnosis was the same. They all told me I was sick. They all had the same prognosis for recovery. They all told me they weren't sure how long it would be until I felt better. I'm sure glad they all have those 4'x8' diplomas on their office walls. It made me realize that they really knew what they were talking about.
Then I got to take several prescriptions to my friendly neighborhood Walgreen's Pharmacy. I started ingesting drugs at a rate that would make Janis Joplin proud. I was really not too sure what I was taking except that I knew I liked the sweet tasting, red liquid in a bottle that had the word codeine somewhere on the label and had numerous warning about what you shouldn't do while taking the medication. It said I was not to operate machinery so I had to give up the vacuum. I tried to get further clarification on all this medication from the pharmacy technician, but I think she had just arrived in this country from Bangladesh after being terminated from AOL Call Center because no one in this country could understand her. So much for the questions.
I am happy to report I am feeling marginally better. I am well enough to head to Disneyland this week with lots of family. When I return I will again return to work, I hope. That does not include running the vacuum. I want to keep the Lord happy.
By the way, my contest announced last fall still has no winner. If you need, you can check an earlier post "Which Line Were You IN?" to get the gist. A great prize awaits the one who determines what card I have exchanged.